Friday, April 24, 2009

Review of Romeo and Juliet

Well, I just finished reading Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. It is about two people who fall in love after seeing each other once. It deals with a family feud. It also deals in tragedy. It is a depressing little play. So much tragedy, so much confusion.

So, I kind of thought the story was cliche. I mean, two lovers who can't be together because of their families? That's been done thousands of times before. I think Shakespeare stole his idea from the hit 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio movie with the same name. That's plagiarism.

Anyway, the unoriginal story isn't the worst part, considering you can't really understand what they're saying. How could people talk like that? It would take hours to get fast food with those idiots talking. My God, just make sense for once!

Also, Romeo is a weird man. He thinks he loves Juliet after seeing her once, when really he just wants to have sex with her. Why would I guy want to marry a girl that quickly? What is wrong with him? It would have been a huge blow to the feud if he put dirty pictures of Juliet on the internet.

All in all, this play provides us with a lot of death, love, hate, and overall confusion that only geniuses can create. It's like Donnie Darko, only it's not 100% terrible. Sidenote: I have not seen Donnie Darko, I intend to keep it that way. Also, I don't like how this play and Fiddler on the Roof give arranged marriages bad names. Does tradition mean nothing to people anymore? My marriage will be arranged, and it will be wonderful.

Grade: Incomplete

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day

It's finally here! The day I look forward to every year. I mean, what's more fun than people pretending to care about the Earth one day a year? I can't wait to hear people brag about planting one tree because they care so much about the Earth.

Me personally, I don't give a crap about our planet. If it does fall apart, can't we just build a new one? Isn't that what Star Wars was about? You know, with the Death Star? Note to self: Rent The Phantom Menance to fact check.

Here's a list of the ways I celebrate Earth Day. This isn't a power rankings, those are so stupid. Only idiots still do power rankings. Expect a power rankings later tonight to show how stupid those people are.

1. Laugh at people with Earth friendly cars. Come on, energy/solar/wind/soy bean oil cars are jokes. If I ever buy a car(I say if because I assume robots will control our cars in a few years), I will buy one that gets 2 miles to the gallon. I know that hurts my wallet just as much as the Earth, but I don't like my wallet anyway. It smells weird.

So yeah, people with those types of cars are stupid. Why do the job that all those other environment nuts are already doing? They're having fun, so keep giving them pollution to fight. If we don't keep those people outside, they might start talking to us. That's probably not a good thing.

2. Go out to where ever people are cleaning up litter on the side of the road. Take two trash bags full of garbage and dump it on them. It'll show them to stop being nice to the planet.

3. Go to the park and wait for people to plant trees. Bring axe. Whenever someone plants a tree, go run up and chop down one of the already planted trees. Warn the surrounding people at the park(parkers?) that with every planted tree, one gets chopped down. If they ask why, chop down another tree and tell them to leave now. After everyone has left, salt the ground.

4. I can't really think of a 4th one. I guess I could go smash flourescent light bulbs or buy a bunch of plastic bottles.

Have a super fun Earth Day!

Friday, April 10, 2009


This one really makes no sense.

Saturday, April 4, 2009