Have you guys heard about this?

http://illiterateblog.blogspot.com/

Mailbag Answer Time

I don't care if anyone needed any more time, I have a schedule to keep up. Here we go:


Here, we have few questions from Stew.

"That looks like a fake e-mail address, so I'm just going to put my questions here, okay? Why are you so obsessed with Jim Sorgi? I googled him & still don't even know who he is (some football coach or back up QB). Have you seen "The Hammer" yet? Does it make your top 100 movies?"

It is not a fake e-mail and no, you may not put your questions here. Jim Sorgi is the Colts backup QB. Leave him alone. No, I have not seen The Hammer. I love Adam Carolla, but I heard that movie is terrible. Maybe it's not, I'll probably see it soon.

The next questions come from 11825code6.

"Brace yourself, because this question is 1000% serious. Personally, I've told one soul (outside of the internet fam) that I have a blog. It's like I'm ashamed of it. Do you feel your blog is like a third testicle? Is having a blog the status symbol death knell? Have you seen Terminator Salvation? It's worth seeing because you will never see plot holes that huge in a movie in your life. Down the road, do you think powers combined (you, me, BBC, maybe that black kid aaron, grizz, cw, etc.) could make the most retardedest blog ever? Down the road of course. What about Toys-R-Us? Do you need a lid? Soup or plastic? "

I have told one friend about my blog, and that was on accident. Yes, it does cause bad social things. I don't want to be compared to Perez Hilton. I have not seen Terminator, but I have heard all of that. Yes, that blog is possible. It would also be the most popular thing ever, so don't talk about it like that. I envision it becoming a Youtube channel where we have 50 views per video, but keep doing them because we have no lives. It will be a sad time. Toys-R-Us is a fine establishment. I don't need lids, I have a phobia for lids. Plastic, please.

Next from Bring Back Chad.

"What are we going to do about that new site?

What is your favorite torture technique?

Would you rather kill Shia Lebouf or have Jim Sorgi become a starter?

Was Hitler bad? (don't answer this?)

Who is your favorite person on PT?

How bad is BBC's blog?

Favorite person to make fun of?

Favorite musician?

Best drug?

Answer EVERYTHING"

I plan on destroying the new site, eventually. I like to torture people with compliments. It really gets to people when you say nice things. I want Jim Sorgi as a starter, Shia isn't that bad, as long as he stays out of movies. And TV. And radio. I never knew Hitler, and I know the media is hyperbolic about everything, so I'll just reserve judgement on him. My favorite PT person is Knepp. Such a cool guy. BBC, your blog is awfulness + terrible. I really like to make fun of everyone. I don't know who my favorite musician is, ask someone else. I don't do drugs, I'm too uncool for that.

Finally, Aaron has a few questions.

"What is your middle name?

If I had a question, but was afraid to ask it, what should I do? This is my question, just so you know.

Yesterday, I saw a deer in my backyard. I watched it for about 5 minutes and it didn't pee like my dog does when he's in my room. My question is, do deers even pee?

Is Michael Jackson what you would call a pedowolf? Is he as much of a pedowolf as Pedowolf himself

?

Whenever I drink hotsauce, my mouth burns with rage. Then I stick my tongue near a fan and turn it on high, and when that doesn't work, I move closer until I feel chips of my tongue in my mouth. What am I doing wrong?

Can I find disco sticks at the Party City?"

My middle name is Russell. Don't tell anyone, it's a secret. Don't ask a question that scares you. Don't do anything unless you know what the exact consequences will be. Never have sex. Michael Jackson is dead, have a little respect. Hot sauce is awesome, so take it like a man. I don't know what disco sticks are, Yahoo! Answers only gave me vulgar answers. Ask Lady Gaga.


That's it. See you next time.

Shocking News: Megan Fox is smarter than Michael Bay

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/us-magazine-megan-fox-bay.html

This is an amazing read. These quotes actually made me lose respect for Bay. I didn't even think that was possible. He's actually reached a lower level of awful. You see, Megan Fox basically pointed out how terrible Michael Bay and Transformers are. He didn't like that. Not. One. Bit.

"Well, that's Megan Fox for you," Bay tell the Wall Street Journal. "She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do.

"You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, 'Okay Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it,'" he goes on.

"Nick Cage wasn't a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in 'Armageddon.' Shia LaBeouf wasn't a big movie star before he did 'Transformers' -- and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from 'Bad Boys'," he points out.

"Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers," he says. "I like to think that I've had some luck in building actors' careers with my films."

This guy actually takes the credit for building the careers of Cage, Affleck, LaBeouf, and Lawrence. Will Smith is the only one that's been in a few decent movies. Cage has Raising Arizona. Affleck has his brother Casey. LaBeouf has Holes. And Lawrence has a.......fat lady suit? I'm not sure I would want to be held responsible for those careers. Especially when all those guys already had solid gigs(?) before Michael's garbage movies, I think.

Michael Bay, you truly are the scum of the Earth.

Mailbag time

I have officially run out of ideas. Send me questions at J_R_K_93@yahoo.com. I will answer them all in one of my next posts. Maybe I'll think of terrible ideas soon.

Is Bill Maher really a comedian?

Okay, so this is a guy with the show that seems like it's just like the Daily Show with Jon Stewart or Colbert Report. The thing is, only the Colbert Report is funny. These other two try to be funny, but their popularity has completely gone to their head. Now, they're trying to spread political and religious messages. Jon Stewart isn't nearly as bad as Bill Maher. The Colbert Report is still awesome, because he doesn't take himself seriously.

I'm not complaining because I'm Christian. I'm okay with jokes mocking anything. I try to ignore my beliefs when I listen to comedy, but Maher is not funny. Also, he laughs at all his awful jokes. ALL OF THEM. I recorded one of his shows and these are the EXACT words:

"Hey ladies and germs*laughs* Tonight I'm going to take a look into George W. Bush's mind.........TO SEE IF I CAN FIND ANYTHING!!! *huge laughter by Bill* Tonight, we were going to have a smart, religious guest......but none exist!!!! *laughs a lot, almost faints* I'm also going to surround myself with a bunch of people that will agree with every word I say. We're going to talk about how Obama's new plan is awesome.

*sits down with buddies*

So, how much did you love what Obama said?

*everyone agrees, talk for five minutes about how cool he is*

It sucks though, I had a hilarious joke lined up if he said something bad. I would've said he George Bush'd it!

*everyone laughs and starts crying*

Anyway, all forms of religion are stupid. If you are religious, then you probably got dropped on your head as a baby!!!!! *laughs*

Well, that's our show. Please join me next time when I'll show you a clip of George Bush struggling to read a child's book! Don't miss it! *laughs*"

That's word for word.